STABLE MARRIAGE IS COMMUNITY STABILITY: BANYANKOLE MARRIAGE

Bride (blue) with her bridal team before leaving her home

The Banyankole are a cattle grazing ethnic group from south western Uganda occupying the Ankole grassland flat plains. These pastoral communities originally followed the rains with their big herds of long horned Ankole cattle on which they owed all their livelihood. They grew no crops because of constantly being on move and had no permanent homes save temporary shelters that they easily abandoned when shifting. Historically their grazing lands spread deep and wide into the present Tanzania, Rwanda and eastern DR Congo; separated after 1884 Berlin Conference, colonization and later independence and demarcating of international boundaries.

Very well known about this Bantu community is their love and pride in their cultural beliefs and customs notably long horned Ankole cows which they treasure most and protect passionately. A typical Banyankole ceremony even in the present world incorporates practices of the cultural setting exemplified by dressing, songs, music, dance, traditional food, gift giving, storytelling, body hugging in greeting, body postures, gestures and other traditional practices.  Amongst the Banyankole people, a family is an important unit and the happiness or sadness of an individual family member spreads like an epidemic to other members in the nuclear family, then to extended family and other relatives, friends and eventually the entire community. An individual achievement and success is celebrated together while the pain of failure and loss is felt and mourned as family to relieve the stress and ease the pressure on an individual. For this and many other reasons an individual activity in a big way impacts on everybody in the society.

Marriage in Ankole traditional culture plays a very important role for it unites groom and bridegroom families. All members in and friends to either family played different roles aimed at ensuring only compatible and suitable partners are united in marriage. At a certain age; not ascertained but generally after adolescence (in traditional set up for girls when breasts and other adult features are fully developed and boys body structures like physique, height, beard, reasoning, achievements etc and presently after education members and being self reliant) family members and friends began to scan nearby villages for potential suitors from families well known to them. They concentrated on health (no genetic diseases), characters of even family members, talents and achievements in some activity, general family name and other factors. Once a suitable partner was identified a go between was selected (person with a clean record and known to both families) from the community to initiate and mediate the marriage formalities. He ran errands between the two to be united families. Once the two parties accepted each other’s proposal, he led groom’s entourage to the bride’s family to formally their intentions known and officially make their offer for the lady of their choice (some polygamous families had girls in same age bracket). There were negotiations between both parties (groom was merely an attendee and looked on silently) in the form of cows and other physical accompaniments to be paid not as purchase price for the bride, but rather as a cultural token of appreciation for raising up the daughter well. Quite often parents who brought up their daughters in an upright way bragged of the cows they anticipated at their marriage as a way of encouraging their daughters to be morally upright. Parents despised their daughters that they would give them away for free at marriage as a way of cautioning them about their cultural morals. Once a marriage proposal was consented to between the two families official marriage arrangements went into high gear. A special date was set on which bride’s family visited the groom’s family to pick the gifts agreed upon and also get officially welcomed in the family. Curious members were on reconnaissance mission on the groom’s family; looked at herds of cows and other food stuffs to be sure their daughter will not be starved as well as a decent housing structure; an indication that the groom is man enough to guard and protect his wife and their off springs.

A traditional dancing troupe entertaining guests at a cultural ceremony

The real day for uniting the bride and groom is a day of achievement for both families and community. It is a day of joy and happiness accompanied with Banyankole cultural practices; lots of traditional dishes of foods and drinks, cultural songs, music and dance, reciting rituals, honors and achievements, exchanging gifts and other forms of celebrations. The bride’s family gave gifts in appreciation to groom’s family for initiating and complete the marriage union, as material support for the new family and send away items for their daughter who from then is considered a member of another family. Merry making and celebrations carried on for days.

Society norms required elders to constantly share life experiences, offer guidance, counseling and interventions to sustain and make successful relationships.  Quite often they succeeded because of their openness, mutual trust and respect the society had for them. Failed marriages (were very few) signified a broken cultural chord that united the man and woman family in the first place and Banyankole despised, abhorred and had no respect for it.

Culture is dynamic and notstatic. It grows and changes forms; some cultural practices die and get phasedout completely, others degenerate into something else. The Banyankole cultural beliefs and traditions are facing stiff challenges by foreign education, migrations and emmigrations, inter marriages, urbanization, change in lifestyles and other factors affecting other cultures. Travelers coming from mountaingorilla trekking expeditions in Bwindi Impenetrable National Park, MgahingaGorilla National Park and other adventure safaris into Uganda quite often get attracted by unique pastoral people they bypass tending their livestock. Quite often they make brief stops to stretch their bodies, admire and take photos of the long horned Ankole cattle and interacting with and share life experiences with the Banyankole people is a rewarding tourism activity in itself.